Street and Phone based Charity Collectors.
Charity Muggers. Spoonerism : Chugger.
Walking down the street. That person has a nice smile. Are their eyes on yours? They're saying hello! What a nice change. How friendly!
Oh hang on there. Wait a minute, children in Ethiopia? Dogs in Spain? My bank card? I've been charity mugged.
Phone call? This time? Might be important. Security questions. Oh it is important. They sound really nice.
Wait a minute, children in Ethiopia? Dogs in Spain? My bank card? I've been charity mugged.
Oh I know your type. I used to share an office with the lot of you. You do one area in the morning as 'Greenpeace', lunchtime comes and you're changing into 'Shelter' mode. Really? Really? Do you really have a soul doing this? The moneys great though, I love using my looks, my charms, my lovely voice to manipulate others so I can get a little more of that commission pie...
CHINK CHINK CHINK goes my coins into your BACS transfer, CHINK CHINK CHINK goes the pick axe on the nice parts of your soul.
Where does your money go when a Chugger has wh*red at you enough to make you give over a monthly BACS?
It goes on commission, it goes on charity admin, it goes on management.
B*llsh*t if they tell you nothing goes on admin, they lie at African dictatorship governmental type proportions.
If it was admin free they simply pay a 'grant' to someone who does the work for free and that 'grant' has no admin associated.
The volunteers who do the work may not get paid but the manager’s definitely get some money. Around 5-12% is the expected admin cost on your Chugger cash. If you're paying £8 a month, £0.96 is going on the management fees if we're doing 12% admin. If threes commission involved for our Chugger at say 10% there's another £0.80 gone. £6.24 is going to our old pot bellied sick African child.
This means you're giving them £74.88 a year in good costs and £21.12 in admin costs. What can you do for £74.88 over the coarse of a
year? How many gallons of petrol in the Chugger Landrovers will £74.88 fuel? I reckon just under 15 gallons of petrol. How far is it from Chugger base camp to Village Middle of nowhere? Once they get to Nowhereville what are they going to do? They’ve spent your money on petrol. Radio crackles, Chugger #1 to Chugger #2 we need another victim, guerrilla clipboard tactics ahoy! Send the troops back into the streets and the cold calls…
Ok Chuggers get in more cash than the charity cases had before but it doesn’t change the fact that I f*cking hate our fellow souless Chuggers.
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